If you are struggling with infertility, “keep trying” may not be the best advice if you have not sought help and advice. There is no point or logic in trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Now is always the best time to have a baby – no matter when now is, so waiting may not be the best advice. Waiting until next month, next year, or next decade only means waiting until there’s an even lower chance of a successful pregnancy.
If something is wrong, it won’t matter how many months you try, or how well you time intercourse or how many pineapples you ate. Making a baby requires functional sperm and eggs, and a healthy uterus and fallopian tubes.
Waiting can interfere with your ability to seek help, and can also undermine your ability to become a parent. If you’re under 35 and have tried more than a year, you should not waste time seeing a specialist. If you are over 35 and you have tried six months without success, you should also seek help.
If you just “keep trying”, you are likely only to experience the same frustration over and over and your fertility may be dwindling with each month that you try.
Infertility is common. An estimated 1 in 4 Nigerian couples struggle to get or stay pregnant and infertility has been a source of pain and struggle for as long as there have been humans.
Fertility is a natural need as much as it is a social need, so if you’re struggling with infertility it’s normal to feel overwhelmed, scared, and stressed.
If you’re facing infertility for the first time, you don’t need to feel alone because you are not alone. You are not the only one among friends facing this issue and it’s not your fault.
It is best to look on the bright side because there is always hope especially these days that so many fertility specialists and treatment approaches are available to tackle your fears and concerns so that you can have your own baby and keep your relationships intact from negative effects of infertility.
Typically, in these parts, infertility is still largely seen as the woman’s problem, but that is untrue. That’s just a myth.
It is a cultural norm – not scientific fact – that has led many people to treat infertility as a woman’s problem.
Regular readers know that a man might be the cause as much as a woman. We have discussed in detail male and female infertility and the ways in which a man and woman contribute individually and collectively towards infertility, irrespective of the persistence of the social stigma of infertility.
In about a third of cases, infertility is due to a problem with the woman. In another third, the man is the problem. And in an additional third, it’s both the woman and the man. That means that if only the woman seeks testing or makes lifestyle changes, two-thirds of infertility cases will still go untreated.
So if you are ready to begin infertility treatment, it is wise to treat it as a couple’s problem and stay away from any doctor who wants only to test or treat the woman.
Knowledge is power. Acquire information. Being infertile shouldn’t render you helpless, so try to get educated and informed about the whole infertility problem. The greater the information you acquire on infertility, the closer you are towards solution.
For instance, do you know that your fertility has a clock attached to it? A woman is born with a finite number of eggs, and a man’s sperm count and quality both tend to decline with time.
You should be aware that once a woman’s eggs are gone, they’re gone forever. Men too, experience age-related declines infertility.
Lots of factors can lead to infertility but the bottom line is that if the sperm and egg aren’t coming together at the right time, no amount of medical treatment can compensate for this fact.
It is not true that the woman is most fertile only after ovulation. Do you know that the day of ovulation and the day or two before are actually the most likely times for a couple to successfully make a baby? This is because sperm can live in the reproductive tract for several days.
Also, you should know that it is a myth that ovulation always happens 14 days after the beginning of a woman’s last menstrual period. On average, ovulation happens after 14 days, but the average of all people tells you nothing about an individual!
If you seek fertility treatment, your doctor can test to see if you’re ovulating at all, and can likely tell you the day of your ovulation.
Infertility is a treatable condition with the right help. It is not a curse. You can join the growing number of couples having a successful and healthy pregnancy with the right support and help.
You’ve probably felt it all, and much more. Infertility taps into that which is fundamentally human, your ability to connect with others, and to reproduce. Yes, the feelings can be overwhelming. In some couples struggling with infertility, the pain and endless waiting even trigger feelings of depression and low self-esteem.
All these are normal, and there is no shame or weakness in all of these.
Infertility is one of the most stressful experiences a couple can have. The fact that your feelings are normal, however, does not mean you have to suffer in silence. The right support can help you face your fears, manage your grief, and feel hopeful about the future.
Infertility can and does affect relationships. Trying for a baby can hit your relationship the wrong way if you are also coping with infertility. Your sex life is often the first casualty. There may be less intimacy than normal and you or your partner may lose interest in sex completely.
As a couple struggling with infertility, you may sometimes find yourself spending every spare moment trying for a pregnancy. You might read pregnancy sites and books, endlessly chart menstrual cycles, and otherwise turn pregnancy into a full-time job.
However, don’t try too hard; don’t be too engrossed with your fertility issues. Find something to distract you once in a while. Exercise and meditation are good and can also improve overall health, potentially helping you get pregnant – or get your partner pregnant – faster.
Living in a constant state of waiting may not be the best way to go. Find ways to support and love each other. Avoid viewing pregnancy as the key to happiness.
Join a support group. There’s nothing quite like talking to people who have been there. You’ll get support, access to resources, and plenty of hope. Try.
Every individual and every couple facing infertility needs and deserves support to navigate the pain. Seek individual and couples counseling.
Counseling isn’t just for couples with bad marriages. Therapy can help you find ways to support one another, talk about difficult emotions, and construct a comprehensive plan for tackling the pain of infertility.
Lean on your faith, if you are religious; fast and pray, everything helps, but back up your faith with action. Don’t fail to see your doctor and fertility consultant.
Making a baby is the most natural thing in the world, so you might think that it’s easy. However, there are lots of natural things that are hard to achieve. Conceiving and giving birth are topmost on the list.
